Thursday, 15 July 2010

Liberal in a right wing way.

I'm a funny bugger sometimes.

Were you to label me, I would expect you would probably peel off a sticky label from the sheet marked 'liberal', especially as what you have to go on is my publically stated disdain for, amongst many other things - The very idea of a conservative government, the BNP, Jordan (the person, not the country in western Asia), guns, violence (in most forms except boxing, which helps me gain my hypocrite badge from the scouts). Many things, many of which would be termed 'right wing'.


I do have a problem with something, and I don't want anyone to get dismayed, annoyed, upset even. But there is a group of people, who use this country. They drain it of its resources. They put nothing back. They don't want to work... Bloody lazy arses. Give me that bottle of cider and piss off out of my country.

Yes, I'm talking about the lazy. The workshy, good for absolutely sod all, lazy. I approve of the benefits system. I have no problem paying taxes to help the disadvantaged who are experiencing hard times, who want to help themselves but due to circumstances find themselves unable. It's the ones who do not, will not, and have no intention of ever trying to get work. Okay, fine. Don't work. But don't think you're entitled to be paid not to do it.

I was talking about this with Mr Foxon (who is fast becoming my muse), and I told him, to his somewhat stunned face "I think our immigration policy is all wrong. I don't think we should even have an immigration policy. Let everyone, whoever they are, go anywhere they want in the world. And then we kick all the lazy bastards out." Or words to that effect. I'll even help, I know where a lot of them are.

Now, many people will, once again, disagree with me on this. They will say that these people are victims of circumstance and will say that me making allusions to rounding them up and doing nasty things to them reeks of something extremely unpleasant. They're probably right. But I get so annoyed. And I don't come at this like some social commentator who looks down at the plebs from his tower high above his country mansion. I was born working class. We had an outside toilet and everything. Dad worked down t'pit (for a bit) and everything (again). I've even had friends who are lazy.But I have a work ethic, and I slowly worked my way up and up, until I found myself doing a low paid desk job 40 hours a week which eats away at my very soul.

But at least I work.

Anyway, I may have changed my mind this time next week, but for now, there you have my views on lazy people. Oh, and immigration, which I stand by. Let people go wherever they want. I'd rather pay for a Somali refugee not to be killed than for Vicky Pollard to watch Jeremy Kyle*.

*No stereotypes wre injured in the writing of this blog.

Friday, 9 July 2010

Bigots are ugly

So, about 2 months ago, myself and Mr Foxon (my genial chum with the fabulous Nordic stylings) are having a chat.
Well, I say a chat, what's actually happening is i'm rabbiting on and he's nodding and humouring me in his genial, nordically styled way.

"Have you noticed," I begin to generalise in a way that I hate when other people do it, "that people with mixed race parentage," (and here I quoted a few examples, including I seem to recall Johnny Depp and Tia Carrere, although why she popped up I know not ), "tend to be quite attractive?"

"And, it occurs to me now,", me thinking I have stumbled upon a fundamental truth of life, " People who would oppose such unions between people of different races, well, they tend to be a bit minging." (and here I quoted a few examples, including Hitler, Nick Griffin and, probably, Plug from the Bash Street Kids).

"I suppose, what I'm basically saying, is, right, Bigots are ugly".

I think Mr Foxon agreed with me. Or maybe I'd just talked him into submission. Anyway, I decided, 'Bigots are ugly' was a slogan for a new generation, a rallying cry. And if not, at least it'd look good on a t-shirt.

You see, I tend to think things could be a lot better sometimes if we simplify things. Killing people is bad, so don't have wars. People being upset is bad, so don't be nasty to them. And intolerance of another person on the grounds of race, sex, sexuality, and a hundred thousand other things is not just bad, it's silly. And sometimes the simple and the silly is the best way to try and fight something.

So, today, I got my t-shirt. It's fantastic. I have no doubt some people will think I am trivialising a very important issue. Some people will no doubt take issue with the t-shirt. I am waiting patiently for the day someone says to me "Oh yeah, so what's a bigot then?". I look forward to turning my back on them. Basically, it's a statement I agree with so much I don't understand why I never thought of it before.

Oh, and thanks of course must go to Mr Foxon. He made the t-shirt. He's not a bigot, and is therefore so much more beautiful than those who are.

Thursday, 8 July 2010

My Old Cat

(Hal Summers)

My old cat is dead,
Who would butt me with his head.
He had the sleekest fur.
He had the loudest purr.
Always gentle with us,
Was this black puss,
But when I found him today
Stiff and cold where he lay,
His look was a lion's,
Full of rage and defiance;
Oh, he would not pretend
That what came was a friend
But met it in pure hate.
Well died, my old cat.

low rumble

And don't get me started on the bloody Pope.

In the news

Daily, more and more, my hatred for TV news grows. 'The Day Today' was supposed to be a parody, for Bruce's sake.

Raoul Moat - it's now been going on 6 days. There is nothing new to report. That's okay though, because they can just make stuff up. Not spoken to his mum for 20 years? That'll take up a good few minutes. Didn't look like evil incarnate when he was 4? a minute and a half of amateur psychoanalysing. Once scowled at a neighbour's cat? 30 seconds of solid airtime.

Now, some say we can't blame the 'media', and i'm italicising that because it's a very wide ranging title and I'm referring very specificly at the moment to 'news'. They say they are only giving the public what they want. I say the public are idiots, who are told what they want, and believe it. Jordan sells more books than Murakami. People watch documentaries about Kerry Katona, and Flight of the Conchords languishes on late night BBC3. Yes, it's a snobbish, elitist point of view. It's also true, so shut up.

This is, of course, just a moan for moaning's sake. It's not going to change, it's going to get worse. And maybe i'm wrong. Maybe Cheryl Cole having Malaria is more important than the 1.5-2.7 million deaths each year from Malaria of people who aren't Cheryl Cole. Maybe the uncle of someone who once lived next door to someone who was in Grange Hill being slightly effeminate is more important than the fact that 93 nations in the world still legally punish homosexuality, 7 with the death penalty. It's just a bit, well, sad.

Wednesday, 7 July 2010


I've started quite a few blogs over the years. Some have lasted a while, some not long at all. All have been sporadic at best. This will be no different.